In relationships men are often struggling to find the right balance between helping their partner out or letting them be. His approach may not always be suitable for her, but it is in his nature to try and resolve things. Especially for those he cares about.

His good intentions can easily be misinterpreted as ‘too directive’, ‘protective’ or making her feel as if he thinks she cannot do it alone. This is further emphasized when he is yet to familiarize himself with his core values and true strength, which would allow him to deliver his message with more clarity, less internal battle (‘Should I help?’, ‘How can I be clear without overstepping?’) and presence.

Your gift to another is also what you allow them to give you.

Your gift to yourself is also what you are willing to let go, so that your natural self can come out.

She might have encountered the un-self-recognized version (and sometimes self-serving) version of advice as being too dominating, therefore distrusting male direction in any shape or intention. Hereby not allowing him and her to strengthen each other with their natural gifts, because most of the times she does not want him to fix her problems but loves to feel his presence, direction and being safe with him.

The key for both is to acknowledge what they long for most and express that (which can be done both verbally and by actions/state of being).

Tobias Mol

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