As I so often say, men and women are both the same and different. Today we cover how this shows in ‘trusting’ each other in relationships.

To jump right in; Men and women can want the same things in a relationship (although not always) but have different ways of expressing this. This also goes for the indicators they use for trust, both when determining whether or not they can trust the other or are trusted by the other.

While there may be some overlap in the indicators being used by men and women, in general there seem to be some basic differences. A woman tends to trust a man based on two conditions:

1. What he shows:

  • His actions: Is what he says and what he does/show congruent with each other?
  • His openness: Is he open about who he is, what he wants and what he feels and can be he be open to what she is feeling.

2. What she feels: his heart

His actions are the easiest to assess, his openness requires some feeling and already some connection. But to know his heart, it requires her to either trust him already on the other parts or to be so sure of her own heart so that she can feel his.

A man tends to base his trust in her on one main thing: How much she trusts in him.

When a man is trusted, let’s say when a trustworthy man is trusted, he is invited te become more of who he is deep down. He feels a healthy responsibility that encourages him to trust himself more and thus do be the best he can be.

A women feels loved based on how much she can trust him. A man feels loved based on how much she trusts him. So men and women really want the same thing, only their mechanisms behind it differ.

David Deida posted yesterday:

‘To make it to the third stage, you actually practice trusting your partners heart more than you trust yours.’ I feel like this goes especially for women as it is in her ability to trust him that makes her feel safe and him feel loved.

The TV-series suits showcases this also beautiful in the dynamic between Harvey and Donna (starts at 2:46):

To your homecoming,


I do not own any part of the video content shown above. The video is purely used for information purposes, to illustrate the above mentioned.

Tobias Mol

About Tobias Mol

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